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Falling in Love with Baby

Friday, February 27, 2015

Some mothers say they were already in love with their baby while pregnant.
Some mothers fell in love as soon as they held their baby in their arms after giving birth.

It was not the same for me.
I was never fond of children. Which was just as well because I thought I was incapable of getting pregnant. I did not have room in my life for a child at that point. 

I happened to mention to my friends during lunch at work one day that I did not have my period for two months and must be starting menopause. They said, of course not. Get a pregnancy test kit. I told them it was impossible for me to be pregnant and that I was sure that I was not pregnant. To prove them wrong, right after lunch, I got a pregnancy test kit from the pharmacy and did the test.

What a shock I got to see two lines! I thought that it was impossible. The test must be wrong. That weekend I went to a doctor who confirmed that I was pregnant - 10 weeks. She could already hear the heartbeat! I was stunned!

It was a very easy pregnancy. I even played badminton up to my 6th month. Although I gave birth by caesarian section, I had an easy time too. 

I dutifully went several times a day to the newborn nursery to nurse my baby. I learned how to care for her at home and quickly established a routine. At that point I would willingly take a bullet for my baby girl. But I was not in love with her. I remember thinking it was wrong. That maybe I didn't have a mother instinct. 

Watching her go through development milestones, her personality began to come out. Little by little I was smitten. I think it was when she started walking at 10 months and picked up my 2 lb dumbbells in each hand at 11 months that I realized......I love her!

Now she's 6 and I love her a little more each day, if that is possible. She earned my love by being loving, affectionate, perceptive, obedient. She amazes me with what she does, what she says, the promise of being capable of something really special.

Now I am truly, madly, deeply in love with my baby and my love grows each day, it grows along with her.


Pearl June 25, 2015 at 2:12 PM  

so heartwarming.... I myself couldn't remember falling in love with my kids the way you described and remembered it :-)

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