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Discipline for My Preschooler

Sunday, July 22, 2012

I survived the "terrible twos" which, come to think of it, wasn't too terrible at all. It was a delight to watch her do something new each day. I'm having more trouble now that she's three, a preschooler.

From the beginning I decided that I would not baby talk to her or treat her too much like a baby. Of course, it's a different story when she's sick. The she can have all the babying and the cuddling and the pampering. On normal days though, she would be treated like an "adult." I explained to her why she certain things are not allowed and was firm. When I promised her anything, I made sure that I kept it. I wanted a relationship with her that was based on mutual love, trust and respect. One reason why I would have wanted to home school her with help from private tutors if needed. But it's not possible.

We tried "time outs" but it didn't work out. Our place is a one-bedroom condo unit and there just was not an area for the time out. Also, she just kept on crying and crying and crying even after the elapsed time. It didn't work for us. Well, maybe a little, because she would act contrite after and she knew she did something wrong. But the crying was upsetting  because it did not stop until the end of the time out. suggests taking time outs together. Sit with your child during her time out. Hmmm, I'll try that sometime.

We really don't have much situations that result in tantrums because she understands what she can and can't do. There are times though that she just really, really wants to do something even if she knows it's not allowed and why. Or when she's enjoying an activity and it's time to go.


An example is this one Sunday that we went to the street fiesta in Emerald Ave. After a puppet show, the stage was empty and she wanted to dance there. I let her. But it was getting very hot and after a few minutes, I told her we had to go because of the heat. She was just having too much fun. She willingly went down but circled back and went up the stage again. After three times, I put my foot down and said we absolutely had to go. I'm ashamed to say I offered a bribe to have chocolate cake on the way back home. It worked though.

How about you? What discipline tools do you use for your child?


lina July 22, 2012 at 5:29 AM  

Via is a good girl, well brought up by her Mommy. :)

For my son, being firm was and still is important.

Shadz July 22, 2012 at 9:43 PM  

I think tama lang naman yon. Baaaa, kids baffle me.

kat July 24, 2012 at 12:24 AM  

I am not a parent so I can only imagine the challenges in disciplining a child. Kudos to your persistence!

leira July 24, 2012 at 1:26 AM  

as long as it works okay lang yan..

Jhari July 25, 2012 at 12:33 PM  

Mine will turn 4yo in the next 4mos. But I still have a 1yr old who will be our next "keep an eye on". You're right, it's fun to watch them exploring things.

RonLeyba July 25, 2012 at 5:15 PM  

Ha! Kids being kids! I got a daughter and a son and I always end up offering a bribe for them to listen to me. :)

Farida July 26, 2012 at 12:55 AM  

I don't have a child yet but i see my in-laws deal with theirs. I love to spoil them and to shower them with hugs and kisses. They are only young once. And very soon, they might dislike these altogether, haha! :D

Mom Michelle July 26, 2012 at 3:28 PM  

Time outs doesn't work for my ZJ too. What I do sometimes, is get his favorite pillow and tell him that I'll throw it away if he won't eat or keep his toys. It may be harsh, but it works - at times though. :-)

journe July 27, 2012 at 3:07 AM  

sometimes, it takes time and lot of patience for us to discipline our pre-schooler.

Thess Enriquez July 27, 2012 at 3:32 AM  

I try to be firm with my 2 yr old. More often than not, he ends up crying for an hour. Though it is difficult for me, I don't give in so he'll understand that he cannot have anything.

verna,  July 27, 2012 at 9:04 AM  

Being firm is really a must. Discipline for my daughter is difficult since I belong to a 'very-family-oriented-clan'. She has a lot of 'resorts' when I disagree. Her grandparents can barely say NO to her. It's a good thing it's my approval she values the most, that's why when I tell her I'm staying firm, after a minute or two, she'd go my away, except for her 'topak times', she goes my way after an hour or two. haha. But it does help to remind her that it wouldn't be pretty if I get mad, and she wouldn't like it.

nelsonRN July 27, 2012 at 9:38 AM  

I have a 4-year-old son and there were times my patience was tested with him. When he throws in his tantrums, my wife and I try to ignore him and just let him cry until he gets tired. Now he realizes that his tantrums are not effective to make us give way to all his requests, so his tantrums are lesser now :)

Deli July 27, 2012 at 3:25 PM  

You can try positive reinforcement :) Whenever she obeys or does something well, praise her or reward her. I learned that in Psychology :) By the way, about your daughter not getting down the stage, I think you have a "performer" daughter or one with a Sanguine personality :) Read up about this personality type, it might help :)

Rosemarie- Pinay Singlemom July 27, 2012 at 5:57 PM  

for the little one, I am always firm but most of the time bribing him works always.. When I run out of patience I shout..being a single mom is not easy..

January July 28, 2012 at 4:49 PM  

I read about parents doing homeschool. I think this will definitely not work for me too..:

Mommy Maye July 28, 2012 at 5:23 PM  

My son is so makulit nowadays. His energy is always at high and I have a problem putting him to sleep every night. I am thinking he is hitting the terrible two stage. Anyway, like your daughter, my son has less tantrums naman. When it case he wants something he should not have, we try to divert his attention na lang. Often times, nadadaan naman sa diplomasya. hehe.

reese July 28, 2012 at 6:25 PM  

you are raising via skillfully, parenting is a skill...
i admire you ms. jelly, i will remember all these pointers i'm certain i will use these someday

Daddy Allan July 28, 2012 at 7:06 PM  

It was really hard to handle tantrums of kids. My two year old son used to cry and try to vomit when we used to get angry with him. What a dramatic actor. But according to what I read. Parents should be firm enough in their decisions when kids get tantrums. They will think that they cannot get over you when they cry to get what they want.
We used to divert his attention to something when he gets tantrums.

Jen July 28, 2012 at 7:20 PM  

It's nice that you mentioned that the "terrible twos" year wasn't terrible at all. My friends keep on kidding me to prepare for that. Now I look forward to it.

Olga July 29, 2012 at 6:44 AM  

Same thing here. My kids were terrific when they were in their 2's. Trouble started when they turned 3 and were really testing their limits. Shouting, spanking and punishments made their behavior worse. Positive disciplining is what we're implementing now and they've improved much since we imposed the no shouting and spanking rule at home.

Chin chin July 29, 2012 at 10:10 AM  

It's futile to discipline if mommy is not disciplined enough also. Sometimes I find it hard to be firm with all the 5 kids ... sometimes I just give in. But it's not the right way at all. Praying for God's wisdom always to help me teach and discipline my children.

Gelo July 29, 2012 at 4:59 PM  

this only shows that being parents is a challenging task,

Yhey Garcia July 29, 2012 at 6:47 PM  

I guess it doesn't hurt to bribe them once in a while, especially when you are in a place where it wouldn't look so good to others that you are scolding her. Of course, we wouldn't want our children to be embarrassed. Hopefully, I could bring up my BabyLove well. This is why I love reading on websites such as BabyCenter and also other mommy blogs, so that I could learn a thing or two.

jared's little corner July 30, 2012 at 4:28 PM  

am am barely on my way to surviving the terrible two's as my little man is turning 3 in a month + i must say i almost manage past it unscathed. of course, we had one of those one too many episodes when i lost my temper + the little man throws a tantrum, but in retrospect i'd say it is just part + parcel of a mum-child's day-to-day affairs.

your little girl does behave very well. i just wish i can bribe my little man with chocolate cake! ;)

aby July 30, 2012 at 8:04 PM  

i think those are nice ways to discipline a child..

Pearl July 30, 2012 at 9:48 PM  

Via is relatively behaved naman at all times, di ba?

Vera July 31, 2012 at 3:49 AM  

My nephew is now 19 months old, very near the terrible twos and already so kulit. I wonder how his parents will discipline him when he goes a little too far. As for me, I go for hard long stares. But it seldom works. Haha :)

anygen August 1, 2012 at 10:58 AM  

I don't have any kids yet but hoping someday! But thank you for sharing this surely a good contribution for parents out there. Kudos to you!

Sumi August 2, 2012 at 8:37 AM  

I'm not a mom yet so I don't have first hand experiences on disciplining children. However, I know it's not an easy task.

Bonzenti | Con Tour Blog August 3, 2012 at 12:32 AM  

As a father of 2 kids, respect and authority are always there. But I emphasized that I am not only a father with authority but I am also their bestfriend. Just be firm. If they have something and ask me to buy, I will always impose the delay gratification principle.

Jellybelly,  August 3, 2012 at 7:27 PM  

Yes, I agree with delaying gratification.

Jellybelly,  August 3, 2012 at 11:07 PM  

The staredown! It worked for me but kids these days.... I don't think so :)

Jellybelly,  August 3, 2012 at 11:07 PM  

"Relatively" :)

Jellybelly,  August 3, 2012 at 11:08 PM  

Yes, I think us Mommies have meltdowns along with our little ones :)

Jellybelly,  August 3, 2012 at 11:13 PM  

Yup, I love Babycenter. That site helped me throughout my pregnancy and after.

Jellybelly,  August 3, 2012 at 11:28 PM  

Yes it's so easy to give in and avoid all the hassle. With five kids I can imagine how hard it can be.

Jellybelly,  August 3, 2012 at 11:29 PM  

Good tip. Thanks!

Jellybelly,  August 3, 2012 at 11:37 PM  

Oo diverting their attention also works :)

Jellybelly,  August 4, 2012 at 12:18 AM  

Yes, it's really difficult to resist the crying.

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