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Having a Baby

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I have given up any hope of having a baby long time ago. Not because there was something wrong with me or my husband. We consulted several doctors after we were married to find out if everything was in order as we did not want to have a baby right away. Maybe after 2 or 3 years. All the doctors we consulted said I could get pregnant without any problem. The reason why we didn't have a baby is more complicated and hard to believe. Even my lawyer, when I filed for annulment a couple months back, could not believe it. And it's not impotence :)

But life can really be full of surprises. I am beginning a new life for myself and here I am, 4 and a half months pregnant with my first child! I was already 11 weeks along when I found out I was having a baby. Almost done with the first trimester! Some of my friends asked how I could possibly not have known sooner. Well for one, I thought it was menopause. HAHA! 

I was asked questions like: Haven't you had any morning sickness?; Didn't you feel fatigued?; Cravings for certain food? etc. All the symptoms of pregnancy that I must have had in the first trimester were easily explained away in my mind which is why I never even for a moment considered that the reason was being pregnant:

  • missed period - I had some spotting which could pass as menstruation.
  • frequent urination - I've always been unable to hold my bladder for too long
  • fatigue - I play badminton 3x a week until midnight. Sometimes I don't get enough sleep so I feel fatigued.
I haven't had any food cravings or aversion; no morning sickness or nausea and no heightened sense of smell. In fact, I can't smell anything as I have allergic rhinitis. Plus, I would never have thought I would even get pregnant at my age.

When I first learned about that I was pregnant, I panicked. I was not ready to have a baby. I was starting a new life for myself. And although I already said that it was something that I thought would never happen, at the back of my mind I always wondered and wanted to try. That is after getting my life in order, I had planned to go to a fertility specialist or something and find a "donor".   :)

After a couple of days of worrying about this and that, I finally decided to let go and leave it up to Him. Then I felt at peace and began to feel excited. Until now, when I look down at my growing belly, I still cannot believe it sometimes. I'm actually pregnant! I'm having a baby!


Bambi July 17, 2008 at 9:25 AM  

OMG!!! congrats (^_^) exciting! i didn't have any symptoms either, my hubby did ... hehehe. swerte no? ingat palagi!

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